Nightmares and Dreams
by Aphina
Summary: POV:OC. Two weeks after Warped. Speedle's mistake has dire consequences for his relationship. With an ex back in his life, and the guilt and anger he's been coping with how will he fare up when facing his biggest challenge yet? And will he accept help?
1. Chapter 1: Backlog

Chapter One

_Sitting back thinking of you,_

_Summertime think it was June._

_Yea I think it was June…_

_You made me feel like the one,_

_Made me feel like the one,_

_The one._

Dakota - Stereophonics

I reached over flicking the car stereo off and turning my head to face the window, watching as the other cars went by in the opposite direction.

"Something bothering you?" Ryan asked, glancing at me as he drove the Hummer down the free way, speeding past several other cars on the way sirens at full blast.

"Nope." I said light-heartedly. It was a lie but right now I really didn't feel like trying to discuss anything with him. There was too much he didn't know, too much I didn't want to talk about.

It had been two weeks and counting since Blake Marriott had abducted me from a crime scene and attempted to rape me. During the course of that period of time, I'd attempted to resign, gone to see a shrink, taken a few days off, and with the help of Alexx and Suzie organised Abbey's birthday party which was this weekend.

Alexx had let me know I was trying to be a little too ambitious with trying to invite fifteen four olds. Instead she suggested I go with the rule of thumb and invite four. I'd invited the team to the party, kind of as a thank you for making such an impact on Abbey's life. They were her family now and we both wanted them to be there.

Last week I'd sat and watched her carefully scrawl each name upon each invite, in which she had insisted on doing by herself. She was getting fiercely independent now. I loved watching Abbey grow up.

As for resigning…After the whole Marriott fiasco I'd handed in my letter of resignation only to have it rejected by Horatio along with the suggestion to go see the shrink at least once a week. Me and Horatio were still a little at odds over the fact he didn't tell me that Marriott was in the country, which may have led to a different turn of events than actually took place. He had apologized, and described the reasoning behind his secrecy. I could understand his point of view. According to Horatio he had heard that there had been a green light out on me and he wanted to check it out. He sent the most secretive person he knew to investigate the information. Tim Speedle. Unfortunately what Horatio wasn't aware of was that me and Speedle had been conducting in relationship that wasn't exactly work related. After spending a few days in New York, Speed hooked up with Danny Messer, a friend he'd made during a cross jurisdiction case. Together they discovered there had been a hit on me but it was retracted a few days later due to a change of mind. Marriott had played a lot of money to get in and out of that contract. Instead he decided to wreck his own vengeance in a more perverse manner. Horatio was in Tim's defence here, he told me the truth behind the story I refused to hear. After discovering that Marriott was back in the country Speedle got Danny to sent him a copy of every file he could find involving Blake Marriot. Speedle's defence was that he wanted to see what he was up against. He didn't want Marriott touching my life ever again; he was trying to protect me. Speedle read my file; he looked at the pictures and the evidence. He saw something I never wanted him to see, and to me that felt like betrayal. Adding to this upon his return to Miami, Speedle and Horatio had conspired to find Marriott before he even had time to set up a trap for me. Unfortunately they were one step behind Marriott all the way. As they were searching his hotel room he was picking furniture for a condo he'd purchased under a new name. He was always one step ahead. Then my brother Charlie turned up, he was found drugged in a meth lab. Charlie's past was against him as he'd been a heroin addict for most of his adult life. Yet meth wasn't Charlie's drug of use and I knew that, I managed to convince Horatio to let me review the last thing Charlie remembered, his hotel room. Thinking I was relatively safe with Calleigh who also didn't know about Blake Marriott, he sent us off to the hotel room, thinking that they had more time to find Marriott. The truth was, and Horatio admitted this himself, both him and Speedle, even after all the research they did underestimated Marriott. It all came back to the fact they were wrapped up in the thought they had more time. All this time they wanted to protect me the best they could, and unfortunately I'd ended up paying the price for their protectiveness. After escaping the confines that Marriott had set up for me, I discovered that Horatio and Tim had been keeping this secret. The results of such a thing… I now avoided Speedle completely. Considering we worked across from each other in the Trace Lab I'd managed to successfully ignore any attempt he'd made to make amends with me and believe me he had tried.

Part of it was the fact I'd put a lot of faith and trust in him, I did not think that for one second he would keep something as important away from me.

The other part? Well my pride was intensely wounded although I blamed him, I also blamed myself. The problem had become that I'd gotten used to having Speedle in my life. I mean I'd taken a chance, I'd fallen in love with him, and he'd become a surrogate father to my child, who at this moment was missing him fiercely.

Although we hardly spoke Speed still visited Abbey from time to time, he took her out sometimes after day care to the park and places. I thought it was good he maintained a constant role like that. At the end of the day though I knew I couldn't ask him to do it forever. I wasn't even sure why he was doing it. More than once it crossed my mind that maybe he felt obliged to do it. I did plan to take it up with him at some point maybe when we were saying more than two words to each other. Speed had attempted to talk to me at various intervals during the week but I'd shrugged him off, I didn't want to hear it. The pain was still fresh. Yet in due course I'd heard the story from Horatio, and now that I had that information I didn't know what to think. I wanted to say something to him, but I just couldn't actually open my mouth and say the words. The minute I went to my mind flashed back to everything that had happened. I just couldn't get it out of my head. Blake on top of me mauling at my chest, his face inches from mine. It made me sick. I still jumped anytime somebody touched me. Yet at the same time each time an opportunity went by I kicked myself. I knew part of me was still unsure about him.

_You made me feel like the one,_

_Made me feel like the one._

_The one._

The lyrics penetrated my brain again knocking me from my thoughts. I turned my head to glare at Ryan. He shrugged keeping his eyes on the road.

"Hey just because you don't like The Sterophonics doesn't mean that I don't." He told me. I stuck my tongue out at him. It wasn't that I didn't like The Sterophonics, it's just the song reminded me of a few things right now.

"I can see that." He grinned. I shot him a death glare, he simply smiled. During the last few weeks Horatio had assigned me and Ryan on a lot of cases together, apparently to teach him a few things. He was a good kid; I didn't really need to teach him anything just keep an eye on him. He had been getting a little over confident lately, a little ambitious too. Despite those things we were getting along really well. I learnt a lot about him. He was a nice guy.

"How's the party preparations going? I know that stuff can be a bit of a handful." He spoke knowingly, turning the Hummer around a corner that led to a parking lot.

"It's a bit strenuous but I think we've got everything covered, balloons are arriving on Saturday morning, Alexx and Calleigh are coming over on Friday night to help out making the food for the party. Eric's taking Abbey for the night. I have to do the decorating but then again I think Horatio and Alexx gonna help out with that. As for music…I'll figure that out on the day." I told him. Ryan nodded parking the Hummer in front of the building.

"Actually I was gonna ask if you wanted any help, but it looks like you've got that covered." Ryan replied a little sullen. I wondered if he felt left out.

"You could help out with the decorations if you wanted, it would give Alexx a chance to get home." I said thoughtfully. Pulling the handle on the Hummer to open the door slightly, I turned my head towards Ryan who began to talk.

"Sure, I could do that." He nodded. I stepped out the Hummer grabbing my kit as I went.

"Weird place for a murder." Ryan spoke looking up at the building in front of us. I followed his gaze. I gave him a small smile.

"Murder Mystery Theatres always are."


	2. Chapter 2: Murder Mystery Theatre

Chapter Two

_But you wanted to dance,_

_So I asked you to dance,_

_But fear was in your soul._

Save A Prayer – Duran Duran

"What the hell is a Murder Mystery Theatre?" Ryan's voice resounded through the lobby as we walked through it. The plush red carpet made no noise as we treaded on it and past the intricate gold looking ticket booth. I sighed shaking my head impatiently as we moved through a purple velvet curtained doorway.

"They're a small thing here." I responded weaving between the rows of seats.

"The play starts with a dead body laying on the stage, before hand the audience are each given little cards with several boxes on it. Each box has a word in it, you know like first box suspect, second box motive, third box opportunity and such. During the course of the show the audience is given a variation of suspects that interact with the victim. By the interval they have to choose for themselves who the murderer is. They hand in their cards to the ballad boxes in the bar or lobby. While the show continues the staff count up the people who were correct, and their given a special prize, something small like a token gold coin or something." I explained dismissively. I took the lead walking towards the stage. The whole place was quiet; the severe lack of background noise intrigued me. It had never been so quiet before.

"You sure know a lot about these places." Ryan commented, his eyes taking in the whole scene.

"I've been on a few dates here." I confessed climbing the stage stairs. My heels made a loud clicking noise as I stepped onto the stage.

"Who's the lucky guy?" I glanced back at Ryan whose eyes were intent on me.

"We don't really talk anymore." I admitted uneasily, moving through the thick red curtains. Ryan said no more, he had no idea I was talking about Speedle.

Behind the curtain stood a multitude of sets, and near that a long corridor with dressing rooms for members of the cast.

"You've been backstage?" Ryan sounded impressed.

"Part of the prize. You collect three gold coins you get a back stage tour. It's a little thing but its fun. You get to meet the actors and everything." I told him weaving my way to through the small corridor and past the dressing rooms.

"You're good at these things?" Ryan grinned at me as we reached the door to the manager's office. I shrugged shooting him a warm smile.

"What can I say? I like puzzles." I replied before knocking on the door. After hearing admission from inside, we both entered the office. The manager Mr Meadows was flat on the floor Alexx posed over him.

"Hey baby, sorry it was you that had to come down to see this." Alexx commented as she looked over the body. I gave her a grim smile. I guess she'd heard about our date from Speedle.

"It's ok." I murmured stepping forward and kneeling down beside the body. Mr Meadows face was white, his expression peaceful.

"It's just I didn't expect it to be him." I told her looking over the gruff beard of Mr Meadows face. Alexx's eyes fastened on me.

"I'm glad Timmy wasn't here to see this." She said openly. I found myself gazing down at the floor. Apparently I wasn't the only one that knew Tim was a good friend of Mr Meadows. I remembered the romantic night Speedle had planned for us both with the help of Mr Meadows. He'd taken me here for a show, I'd won my third gold coin, after the tour Speedle had asked Mr Meadows to show me some old prints he had of the actors who'd used to take stills of the stories in the theatre from the 1920's. Apparently they got handed down through each generation of the family who owned the theatre. They were beautiful pictures. Unfortunately Mr Meadows had one child who'd moved to San Francisco with her mother at an early age, after their divorce, from then on the guy had dedicated himself to the theatre and bringing it back from the ruin it had been in when he inherited it. I wondered what was going to happen to this place. Sighing I slipped on my latex gloves, Mr Meadows had been a great guy. Yet if you gotta go, you gotta go.

"So Alexx what do we have?" I asked her ignoring her previous comment. Ryan was surveying the room and around the desk. Apparently mine and Speed's relationship hadn't escaped Alexx's eye, and I'm positive that our current behaviour hadn't aided the issue either. Yet the truth was she understood what we were both going through, she saw both sides, I think she'd become a neutral sounding board for us both.

"A through and through honey." Alexx told me examining the wound through the hole in Mr Meadow's crisp suit. The bullet had gone through his chest. I let a deep sigh escape me.

"I guess asking for natural causes was a little too much to ask." I muttered looking the body over. Taking out a swab I scrapped under Meadow's fingernails.

"Are you gonna tell Timmy or am I?" Alexx asked quietly, her eyes still focusing on the thermometer giving the liver temp. I closed my own eyes for a second before opening them again.

"We don't want him walking in and seeing this guy dead on my table honey, he's been through enough as it is." Alexx warned me, I took a deep breath and glanced around the room. Ryan was talking with a patrol cop by the door way now.

"I think its best you tell him." I said slipping the swab into an evidence bag and putting it into my kit. I knew her gaze was on me but I refused to meet it. I busied myself with shifting around the envelopes in my kit.

"Honey…your going to have to deal with sometime." Alexx said, her gaze not faltering. She was handing me her advice.

"Do I?" I asked Alexx snapping my case shut and turning to face her.

"Last time I checked I still had my own free will." I spoke catching her eyes. Alexx's were searching mine. I knew she'd passed her approval on mine and Speed's relationship along time ago.

"I know he hurt you honey, but don't you think he deserves a second chance. He was trying to protect you Eva and it came back to hit both you and him in the face. Don't you think he's been tearing himself up about the whole thing?" Alexx asked me closing her own case. I stared at her in shock. I didn't expect that, as far as I was concerned he was being the same sarcastic gruff guy he had been the first day I worked at the lab. He wasn't acting anything but cold with me. When I snapped he snapped back. Alexx was on her feet now I followed her suit. She leaned into me before continuing the conversation.

"At least think about talking to him, even if it's just to make life a little more easier for those who have to step into the Trace Lab." She said yanking the case up from the ground. I stared at her open mouthed. I didn't realize how badly mine and Tim's feud was affecting other people. The more I thought about it the more the lab had become a battleground for us both. Shaking it off, I watched Alexx leaving the room. Perhaps I should talk to Tim, even just to make things a little bit easier for other people. Thoughtful I stepped back as the crew came and lifted Mr Meadow's body onto the trolley. I was sad to see him go, I watched as the crew wheeled his body out of the room, closing the door behind them. Someone's hand clasped my shoulder causing me to jump.

_He was there behind me. I knew it was him. The sickly scent of chloroform engulfed me, his hand covered my mouth. I couldn't breath, I couldn't speak. God help me. I couldn't even scream._

I bit back as the panic I was feeling began to overwhelm me. I could feel myself taking short breathes. The images in my head now right in front of my mind. I lent over the desk putting the palm of my hand on it trying to catch my breath. All I kept seeing and thinking was that room, that bed, him on top of me calling my name. Nausea worked its way up my throat, as I struggled to breathe underneath his touch.

"Eva?" suddenly it was all real. I opened my eyes letting them flicker to the desk. Trying to get a hold of my breathing I took a deep breath. I was at a crime scene. I'd been having a panic attack.

"Eva?" the call of my name was what had pulled me out of it.

I turned around to see Ryan's eyes on me concerned. I couldn't shake the look he had in his eyes. I knew I'd made a fool of myself. My panic attacks were a bit more frequent than I cared to admit. They usually happened when I was alone in the house. Anything could set them off. Sometimes it could be a sudden noise, others the simplest touch.

"Are you ok?" Ryan asked me. I nodded, swallowing bile.

"It's a bit of a shock." I confided not really determining what I was talking about. Ryan nodded as if understanding. A comfortable silence grew between us; Ryan's eyes were still on my face. I realized I was starting to feel uncomfortable.

"So…" I said wrenching myself away and turning around to survey the room.

"So… who found him?" I asked Ryan putting on a cheerful voice. I couldn't deal with his questions right now. Ryan's arms were over his chest now.

"That was a panic attack wasn't it?" I closed my eyes for a second. Maybe this would all go away…I opened them to see Ryan taking a step towards me.

"Eva…" he implored. I nodded my response, keeping my eyes on the scene defiant.

"How long have you been having them?" he asked. I didn't respond. I didn't want this line of questioning.

"Since Marriott attacked you?"

"Can we stick to the job at hand?" I countered, moving towards the wall across from where Mr Meadows had been lying.

"If it's affecting the job…" I found myself facing Ryan, as my anger flared up in me.

"It's not Ryan, it happened just this once on the job and it was because you startled me." I blurted out. I was not going to lose my job over something like this. Ryan's eyebrows knotted into a frown, his lips pursed together tightly.

"Look I am seeking help about the whole thing, just do me a favour and let it drop." I told him, my hands were on my hips now. Ryan's eyes were wide.

"I'm sorry; in future I'll do my best not to scare you." He said softly walking towards me.

"Now what was it that you spotted on this wall?" he was changing the subject back to safe ground and for that I was thankful. I knelt down opening my kit and taking out my tweezers.

"Alexx said the bullet was a through and through." I told him, standing up again. I moved closer to the wall, until my shoulders were at the same height as I framed picture mounted on the wall. The picture was an old theatre poster Mr Meadows had collected from an auction a few years ago.

"This picture is about chest height with the vic isn't it?" I asked Ryan for confirmation. He moved up next to me, his eyes analysing the frame of the picture.

"About that." He said. My gaze settled on the bottom left corner of the frame. There was a small hole in it, something metal peeked out at me.

"I think I just found our bullet." I said manoeuvring the tweezers holding the bullet out of the hole in the frame.

"I think it's clear that the victim knew his assailant." Ryan commented, moving towards his kit he began dusting the handles of the desk drawers.

"Why do you say that?" I asked still attempting to coax the bullet out from temporary new home.

"Nothing seems out of place, doesn't seem to be any signs of struggle." He spoke calmly, it sounded as if he was concentrating. There was a cracking sound as I yanked the bullet the rest of the way out of the frame.

"Success?" Ryan called over, as I held the bullet at eye level.

"Can't tell what calibre though." I admitted dropping the bullet into a brown evidence envelope.

"That's for Calleigh to distinguish." Ryan replied absently. I frowned turning to him.

"You found something?" I asked him. Ryan's eyes peeked at me over the desk top.

"A clear print on the drawer…and this." Ryan stood up, in his hand he held up a gun.

"You think that could be the murder weapon?" I asked picking up the camera. Ryan set it down on the desk for me to log.

"Possibly…" Ryan's voice was interrupted by the door opening. I looked over my shoulder to catch a glimpse of a young red haired woman entering the room; she was wearing a peach silk robe, from the look of it that was all.

"Can we help you?" I asked her, the camera still between both my hands facing her.

"I thought you'd want to interview me." She said sweetly closing the door behind her, a look of surprise on her face. I guess she expected two guys in here. I raised an eye brow at her.

"Really?" Even I heard the distain in my voice. It didn't help that her silk robe just about covered her nipples.

"I'm the one who found Robert in such a state…" she began. I held up a hand interrupting her.

"Before we do anything, I recommend you add to your attire." I advised her. It was bothering me a lot the fact she'd came in here attempting to seduce two cops. I gave Ryan a lot more credit than to ask her to cover up for him, it was starting to get to me, the fact she was trying to flaunt herself for our benefit. She spread her hands over her chest, showing her curves a little more.

"Why? Are you finding me distracting?" she asked me, her attempt at flirting was apparent. Having a girl flirt with me wasn't a first.

"A little." I said evenly, the camera in my hands began to slip; I took my eyes off her for a second in attempt to balance it more in my grip.

"How about this?" I glanced up distracted, grabbing the camera as it dropped suddenly, and accidentally pressing the button as I did. There was silence in the room and as I let my eyes raise up to meet the woman head on. She was standing in front of me holding her robe wide open revealing her naked body. I realized I'd just taken a picture of her in that state. I opened my mouth to speak no words exiting my mouth.

"Saving that one for your scrap book?" she asked heatedly before closing her robe and leaving the room, slamming the door behind her. I stared after what I guessed was an actress, trying to work my mouth into saying something, anything. I moved my head towards Ryan, jaw working frantically, trying to explain. His face was contorted in laughter as the sound echoed around the room.

"Did that just happen?" I asked him jerking my thumb at the door. Practically doubled over in laughter he simply nodded, forcing my own smile to break out. I found myself joining in with the hysterics.

"I think you're the first person for that to happen to." He was recovering now, a grin plastered on his face. I shook my head, a wide smile pasted on my face.

"It happened to Speedle once." I told him. Ryan stopped packing his kit away and smiled at me. I raised the camera and took another few shots around the room.

"It was on a boat, the girl was model."

"How'd he turn that down?" Ryan asked curious.

"She was also the killer." I told him without looking up.

"Well he's got Lara now and God knows how crazy she is." Ryan told me crossing his arms over his chest, hunching his shoulders, his face now serious.

"Hm?" it was a question without words; I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to show interest.

"You know the other day I saw her…" he was frowning now, unsure how to speak. It was sparking my interest. His eyes met mine full on.

"I saw her hit him." The clarity of what he was saying struck me full force. I felt my jaw clench, and nostrils flare. Ryan was staring off in as if in memory, I was standing in front of him now, nails digging into my palms.

"They didn't know I was in the doorway of the locker room, they were arguing about something, and then that was it she just hit him. She said…" his eyes were now on mine.

"Take it like a man." My temper fused, I felt like I was about to explode. Heat rose inside me.

"You're sure?" I said seething. Ryan nodded his head vigorously. There was no doubt in his mind and now there was no doubt in mine. Lara had crossed a line.

"You're the first person I've told." Ryan admitted his movements were slightly erratic now. I realized it was because he wasn't in control; he wasn't sure what he was supposed to be doing here.

"I never imagined…I mean what should I do? Should I tell Horatio?" it took me a few minutes to realize he was asking me for advice. Ryan had a problem and he didn't know what to do, well I did. Even though I was seething I knew this would be better coming from me than him. Yet I knew what I had to do. Speedle had tried to protect me, but he couldn't protect himself. I guess I'd run him down enough to succumb to Lara. The Speedle I knew would never have let any of this happen, he'd never accept… that. I couldn't stand here and let that happen. Speedle wouldn't want Horatio to know, hell he wouldn't want me to know, I would sort this.

"Ryan, I'll take care of it." I spoke softly. Ryan's eyes were on mine. I turned away grabbing my black suit jacket off my kit, where I had previously had put it.

"Eva?" Ryan asked cautiously. I ground my teeth, imagining the scene in the locker room between Tim and Lara. If she hurt one more hair on his head… I felt the anger in me rise again.

"Ryan, trust me I'll take care of it." I focused on him grimly, moving quickly towards the office door. I'd made a promise to Alexx a few weeks ago after she told me about what Tim had been through with Lara, that I'd keep an eye on him. I hadn't I'd neglected to do that. I'd neglected him, and now Tim was weak and that bitch was taking advantage of him. How dare she? I opened the door shrugging on my suit jacket.

"Cover for me?" I asked Ryan meeting his eyes. They were bright and full of honesty and thanks.

"Yea, sure." He murmured nodding for empathise. Just before I slammed the door behind me, I heard him mutter the word "thanks".


	3. Chapter 3: Standing Up

Chapter Three

_I woke up early this morning around 4am,_

_The moon shining as bright as headlights on the interstate_

_I pull the covers over my head try to catch some sleep_

_But thoughts of us kept keeping me awake._

Don't think of me – Keith Urban

My blood was boiling through my veins. I could feel my pulse in my throat as I burst through the door of the Trace Lab, causing it to slam against the wall behind it. I cringed at the huge booming sound that echoed through the lab. Speed's head rose, and for a brief second his eyes met mine, then they were down again, focusing on whatever he was piecing together on the table.

"Coming back to break the glass in the door?" he asked me dismissively, his face turned away from me. This was what it had been like the last few weeks, us sniping at each other. Standing in front of the door I dropped my kit onto the ground. This felt so urgent, like it had been an eternity before we last spoke.

"Actually I need to talk to you." I told him, putting my hands on my arms. Speedle stopped dead what he was doing and stared ahead before replying.

"You're choosing to talk to me now? Here at work after two weeks of me trying to get you to even look in my direction." Speedle's voice rose as he spoke. He jerked his head towards my direction; his chocolate eyes were on me. My eyes widened and I heard the gasp escape my throat. The side of his face was bruised a hideous dark brown. The bitch had hit him hard. Speed's head returned to its original position, the bruising facing away from me now. Taking a deep breath, I struggled to ground myself. Lara was as good as dead in my mind. I took a step towards him. I felt tears burning up in my eyes, seeing him like this. It was killing me. The humiliation was probably killing him too. I couldn't stand by and watch this happen to such a great guy.

"What excuse are you using for that?" I asked him curious. I didn't know how to even begin this conversation with him. I watched him physically flinch. I knew it; I could see the fear in his face.

"Tim?" I murmured putting my hands out towards him.

"It's none of your business." Speedle muttered, attempting to ignore my on coming approach. I was right next to him now; I could smell the clean scent of him. It all felt so familiar, I wanted to reach out and touch him. Attempting to push my feelings away I looked down at what Speed was working on. It was writing on note paper, torn into small pieces. I moved one into the main body of what Speedle was working on.

"That one goes there." I said softly, looking over his shoulder. Our fingers touched briefly for a second. We both froze; this was the most intimate gesture between us both in the last few weeks.

"You know I have been a CSI for a long time now, I can work on this by myself." He snapped turning around to face me. His movement surprised me. We were too close. His scent was intoxicating; his warmth was beginning to draw me in. Our eyes met and I felt myself move towards him. I could see the sorrow, the sadness in his eyes. I couldn't tear myself away, and as his hands moved up my arms, I realized I didn't want to. He was the only person I felt safe touching me.

"Tim…" I moved my hand up to his face slowly, my hand was trembling, and I was so scared I was making a mistake right now. Tim's lips were suddenly on mine, lightly brushing them. The essence of him was deep inside me, overwhelming my senses. His lips were soft on mine, patient like we had all the time in the world, to do this and be together. I was brought back to earth by Speedle's lips tentatively breaking away from mine. Eyes still closed he rested his forehead against mine.

"Eva…" he spoke my name in a timid whisper, he had no idea where this was going to lead and neither did I.

"Tim, tell me the truth." I whispered. Tim's eyes scrunched up, he kept them closed.

"I got caught in a bar brawl." He said quietly. I smiled at him grimly, feeling the anger rise up in me. I took a step back, distancing himself from me.

"I know that's not the truth Tim. Just please don't lie to me." I begged. There had been too many secrets lately. I couldn't take anymore. Tim's jaw clenched. Secrets had gotten us into the place where we were right now. He knew that. I also knew he felt humiliated, he hadn't told anyone about what was happening to him. I knew he'd been hiding out here in the lab. This way no one could see the bruises on his face and in his soul. It was against his nature to talk about this. I'd seen this thousands of times with domestic abuse victims, more so with male abuse victims. I never thought I'd see the day when it was someone I knew though. I had to tell him, oh God I had so much to say to him.

"Alexx…told me about some of her suspicions." I admitted trying to maintain eye contact. Tim folded his arms over his chest, and looked away, and then back at me.

"What suspicions?" he asked impatiently. Apparently there was no real easy way to bring up this subject. I found myself on the defensive. My eyes were on the ground now.

"Suspicions about you and Lara." I confessed before adding. "From a while back."

I heard him exhale loudly, I bowed my head further.

"Tim… I know she did that to your face." I blurted out; his eyes were on my face reading it.

"Ryan was standing in the door way when it happened, he didn't know what to do, so he asked me for help, and well I'm here now." I spoke hurriedly. Something came over his face causing Tim to frown, before turning away.

"I don't need your help Eva." He snapped, moving the pieces in front of him quickly. I crossed my arms over my chest and stared at him.

"If you won't accept mine, then accept Alexx's or Horatio's just don't let this go Tim. I'm serious I'm scared for you." I confessed. Unfolding my arms I moved towards his back. He was leaning on his arms now, his head bowed. My hand was patting his back now.

"Ryan told me what she said. You're more of a man than she knows and you don't have to take her crap to prove it." I told him firmly. Tim simply said nothing; he just stood there inhaling loudly. Maybe this was too much for him to take right now. I paused for a second. I had promised myself I would sort this out. Taking a deep breath, I wrapped my arms around Speedle, and rested my cheek against his back.

"This was my fault, I'm so sorry you got hurt." I felt him tense underneath me. I hadn't expected this to feel so natural. I hadn't expected to end up like this.

"Don't worry Tim I'm here." I told him before pulling away and rushing towards the door. I guess I was going to have to take this up with Lara. I was going to redeem myself.

Speed POV

_And I see you standing there_

_Watching over me_

_And all I can do is try._

Try – Nelly Furtado

I heard the door click as it closed back into its frame. I had a very small idea where she was going. I slumped down into my stool on the right of me my face in my hands. She was right though I couldn't take this any more, to know that she was scared for me showed me that she cared. I'd done a horrible thing to her and it was all in vain, but she could put it away for a few minutes to show me she still cared. She was still there always standing over me protecting me. I didn't deserved what she Eva was giving me. That I deserved every single blow Lara dealt me. Part of me thought I should get up and follow Eva to the DNA lab, to try and minimalism the damage. The rest of me didn't want to, Lara's secret was out. The one I couldn't even breathe a word of. I couldn't believe it when she lashed out at me the other day, I'd turned her down and she hated it. I felt hate stab at me again as her words made my blood run cold.

"Take it like a man." She had said. The words had hit me harder than the punch she had thrown. It completely emasculated me. Lara enjoyed humiliation, and she didn't like being turned down. That's what the whole thing with the locker room had been about. The woman was obsessed and when I turned her down she lost it. Getting into a relationship with Lara was stepping backwards into a hell dimension especially after I'd seen what life was like with Eva. I never wanted to go backwards again. Right now I had to stop Eva making the worse career move of her life. I knew what her temper was like, I also knew that she was aware of deeply I was damaged. Standing up I rose to me feet, Eva was risking her career to stand up for me. I think it was time to stand up to Lara myself.


	4. Chapter 4: Nailed

Chapter Four

Your faith was strong but you needed proof,

You saw her bathing on the roof,

Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you.

She tied you to a kitchen chair,

She broke your throne and cut your hair,

And from your lips she drew the Halleluiah.

Halleluiah – Shrek Soundtrack

My hand was on the door handle, preparing to open the door to DNA when my pager jerked to life. Further down the corridor I heard someone else's do the same. Glancing down the shaded hall way I caught a glimpse of Speedle pivot his body to face his pager. Had he been coming here to stop me? Pushing that thought away I let my eyes settle in my own pager.

"You too?" I heard Speedle's voice cut through my thoughts as I looked up, meeting his gaze. I nodded in response, turning my head back towards the door of DNA. I could see Lara's red haired head bobbing up and down as she flicked through the paper work in front of her. My gaze travelled torn back in Speedle's direction.

"They wouldn't call if it wasn't urgent." He told me leaning of the direction of the direction of the layout room. My hand tensed on the door handle before releasing it and moving quickly to catch up with Speedle. Lara could wait. Speedle paused waiting for me to reach him before we both moved quickly towards our destination.

"I don't need you to fight my battles for me you know." He murmured as we walked quickly, the sound of our shoes echoing from the tiles beneath us.

"Does that mean your going to report it?" I asked without looking at him. I already knew the answer to that question. I was living in the hope that he might surprise me yet. Tim didn't speak; we merely continued our path in silence.

"At least talk to someone." I said hopefully. Tim simply stared straight a head, grabbing the handle of the lay out room door; he twisted towards me before pushing it open.

"I'm not making any promises." He told me before stepping inside the room.

I knew something was wrong the minute we walked into the room. My eyes were immediately drawn in Delko's direction. He looked shaky and withdrawn. I felt my eyes widen at his state. Horatio stood leaning over the table watching the two of us enter grimly.

"Horatio?" I questioned taking a seat next to Calleigh who was also frowning in confusion. Tim closed the door behind us as Horatio stood up to his full height. The seriousness of his expression instilled a fear deep in me.

"Ryan Wolfe…Well I'm not sure how to put this…Ryan Wolfe has been in an accident." My blood froze; Horatio's eyes were on Delko, there appeared to be some animosity between the two men. I didn't understand why, and apparently neither could anyone else.

"He was investigating a suspect's trailer when a nail gun went off in his eye." I gasped my hands covering my mouth. This had to be some sort of sick joke.

"He was taken to Grace Memorial as quickly as possible; it's not yet known what his condition is yet, all we know is that he is currently in surgery." Silence encased the room; we were all trapped in shock. The only thought in my head was the fact I shouldn't have left him. Yet it wasn't me Horatio was glaring at, his eyes seem solely focussed on Delko as opposed to me.

I found myself on my feet moving towards Horatio in an instant. Horatio's head jerked towards me. His watery eyes on mine.

"How did this happen?" I asked him unable to keep still, guilt and hopelessness raged through me.

"Ryan was assigned to another more urgent case; he and Delko were ordered to check out a trailer linked to the suspect. Ryan went in alone, all we know was that he opened a wardrobe door; we think the killer was hiding in there with the nail gun." For one forgetful second I was glad that this hadn't been my case, that this wasn't my fault, until my eyes fell on Delko. It all came rushing back, the guilt I knew he felt pressing on me.

"Is there any one there, at the hospital for him?" Calleigh's voice broke through the cloud of tension. Horatio shook his head.

"I've told them to call me if anything comes up. Now right now Calleigh I need you to investigate the crime scene. You and Speed look for anything that links to our killer. Eric…"

"I'm going the hospital." Eric interrupted crossing his arms over his chest. Everyone's eyes were on him. Horatio's eyes were full of sorry his voice tinted with warning.

"Eric…" Delko jumped to his feet and stared at Horatio.

"H, this is my fault, if I'd been there Wolfe wouldn't be in this situation. Please let me do this." Listening to Eric's pleading broke my heart. I closed my eyes for a second, waiting for Horatio's answer and taking a deep breath to ground myself.

"Alright Eric, call me immediately if you hear anything." I opened my eyes to see Eric's head stoop, his gaze lingering to the floor as he left the room. Calleigh stood up, her jade green eyes resting on Speedle. Both of them walked out the door stunned by the news leaving me and Horatio alone. Horatio's head was bowed his fingers toying with his sun glasses.

"How are you holding up?" I asked him from across the room. A grave smile crossed his face.

"I'm doing ok." He told me. I pursed my lips sympathetically, not knowing what else to say.

"Ryan dropped off your evidence in the Trace Lab for you to run through. I'm sorry you got left with the follow up." I shrugged my shoulders at his comment.

"It's not your fault. It's gotta be done." I told him. Horatio nodded, his eyes focusing on the table now.

"You couldn't help what happened to Ryan; the main thing is that we're here to support him, no matter what happens." I spoke quietly.

"We're the only family he had left right now."

Horatio let out a deep sigh, slipping his glasses onto his eyes. I moved towards the door, before turning back towards him.

"Things will work out." I promised before making my way to the Trace Lab.


	5. Chapter 5: Insatiable

AN: This chapter contains some sexual content, so may be rated mature. 

Chapter Five

_Turn the lights down low,_

_Take it off and show,_

_My love for you insatiable._

Darren Hayes – Insatiable

_His eyes were boring into me, watching as I stared at him unable to move. The fear pulsating in me sent a tingle through my body as he took another step, inching closer to my direction. My breathing was harsh and shallow, the intense panic building in me uncontrollable. I could hear my own blood rushing through my ears as I remained frozen, my gaze transfixed on the figure in front of me. His hand moved forward reaching out towards me, enclosing suddenly on my throat, tightening around it. I couldn't breath. I was trapped in his grasp I couldn't even force myself to move. I felt my mouth open, letting silence tear from it. His grin floated into my view, filled with malice and horrible dark thoughts. His merciless eyes were the only thing that clouded my vision as his laugh echoed around the room filling my ears to the point where my head felt ready to explode. The darkness was closing fast around me, I struggled to hold on as I herd my name escape his lips._

"Eva… Eva…Wake up." I found myself bolting forward in bed naked, the sheets tangled around my rigid body. Sweat glistened on my skin in the lamp light that obviously he had turned on when I had begun to stir. A soft cool hand touched my skin gently causing me to start suddenly. I held my hands out in front of me and realized I was trembling. I closed my eyes for a second and tried to regain control of my breathing and my senses. I was at home in bed, he wasn't here. It was a dream, a nightmare, I kept telling myself. It wasn't real. I let out a deep sigh as I felt him move behind me, his warm muscular body leaning against mine, his strong arms wrapping around my naked form, engulfing me in his warmth. I let my body relax against him, I let my head tilt back, resting in the hollow of his throat. I felt his lips brush my hair, his cheek then resting on my head, I was letting myself be absorbed by the comfort he was feeding me. That's why we were both here, for the mutual comfort of the situation. At least that was what I was telling myself right now, letting out a deep breath, I knew that wasn't true. His voice interrupted my thoughts.

"It's just a nightmare honey, you'll be fine." I took a deep breath. I couldn't believe that I was here. I was trying to convince myself this was the result of too much wine, that it had all occurred due to the definite need for something to prove to myself that I wasn't incapable of letting a man touch me after what had happened. I'd started this, I'd made the first move, and my lips had met his first. I knew I shouldn't be in bed with him right now. I had too much o work though; I hadn't even really begun to repair the broken aspects of my mind. I'd done this because I'd needed to feel loved and wanted. That's why I was here in bed with him; at least that was what I was telling myself.

Five Hours Earlier

Abbey was sitting at the coffee table leaning on her knees colouring vividly in her colouring book with the new crayons Eric had bought for her. Her angelic blond curls fell over her face as she moved her hand quickly colouring the fish's tail in blue.

"Uncle Eric, how come we don't see Speed anymore?" Abbey asked without looking up focusing on another crayon. Eric's leg rested on the knee of his other leg. He took another sip of the Cuban brand that was now also stocked in my cupboards. His dark eyes had thick bags underneath them. Things had been rough for Eric lately. Marisol had finally decided to tell him last week that she'd stopped her treatment due to the fact she was pregnant with one of Eric's closest friends and his superior. She'd also just dropped the bombshell that they were getting married tomorrow; she'd asked both me and him to be witnesses. We'd both agreed, but I knew that Eric was having trouble coping with the whole situation.

Eric shot me a tired glance over the top of Abbey's head, clearly unsure on how to proceed. I gave a non committal shrug in his direction. I wasn't sure on what to say to him or Abbey for that matter. I wasn't sure what the hell me and Speedle were doing, it was very uneven ground right now.

"Speed's been really busy lately; he's working hard at the lab, honey." Eric told her wearily. He sat back on the couch tapping his fingers on the arm of the couch. Something was bothering him; then again he had had a lot on his plate lately.

"How's Wolfe doing?" I asked curiously, getting out two thin stemmed wine glasses and setting them aside on the work surface in the kitchen.

"Do you want wine?" I asked him, leaning on my tiptoes to reach the bottle at the back of the cupboard.

"Sure." He replied shifting on the couch, his tanned skin catching the light as he rose to his feet and moved through the archway and into the kitchen with me. He answered my previous question.

"The surgery went really well, the doctor said he patch could come off in a about a weeks time. It missed his actual eye, it ended up in the socket, it damaged some tissue around his eye, so long as he takes the antibiotics he'll be fine." Eric was standing behind me now, speaking in hushed tones so Abbey didn't overhear. I could feel his breath on my neck. I glanced at him curiously over my shoulder, giving him a soft smile urging him to continue.

"I gave him a lift home, Natalia's taking care of him tonight." He confessed, I felt my head twist in his direction slowly. His arms crossed over his chest, he looked a little lost as he took a step back. I frowned at him before retrieving the bottle and setting it down on the counter.

"I thought you and Boa Vista…" I didn't finish my sentence, realizing that the likeliness was that Abbey could hear me. Instead I opened the draw removing the corkscrew and set about removing the cork. I struggled for a few seconds with the wine bottle.

"She's with Ryan now, I told him he was cleared for landing." I turned my head giving him a look I hoped he was interpreting as a scowl.

"Cleared for landing?" I asked pointedly, still locked in an epic battle with the corkscrew.

"Pass it here." Eric leaned over; his hands brushed my hands as he reached for the wine bottle, and the corkscrew.

"I screwed up with her. She thought we were still seeing each other and I well…I thought we weren't." he told be yanking the cork out of the wine bottle and setting it down next to the wine glasses in order to give it a few minutes of breathing time. I rested my palms on the work surface leaning over and sighing.

"See I don't see why people don't talk when it comes to things like this, a lot of the mess would be cleared up with a little bit of communication." I told him shaking my head. I was an idiot sometimes. I shot my mouth off with out thinking. Eric impatiently picked up the bottle of wine, clearly irritated.

"Like you and Speed you mean." He retorted. I turned to stare at him.

"Different circumstances." I muttered in Eric's general direction, yet part of me couldn't help but think he was right. Eric poured the wine into each of our glasses filling them up generously. He picked up his before gazing into it for a few seconds.

"I wanted to thank you, with helping Marisol with all the things for the baby, I know it an be a bit of a handful, but thanks, for taking care of her." Over the last two weeks Marisol had called me at various different times asking questions to do with her pregnancy. I was glad she was taking my offer seriously and making full use of it.

"My pleasure." I replied moving into the living room where Abbey was now curled up on the couch yawning. I set my wine down and moved towards her with a small smile.

Eric followed closely behind me slumping in one of the chairs across from the couch.

I could tell he was weary and he just wanted to talk, we hadn't really vented on each other in awhile.

"Talk to me more in a minute, after I get Abbey to bed." I told him, shaking my head in puzzlement. Picking Abbey up without much trouble, I escorted her to her bed room. It took me a few minutes to get her changed and settled. The last few days she had become over excited as her birthday was coming up. Today though I think the lack of sleep was catching up on her, she'd been less chatty, and more sluggish. Closing the door behind me I moved back to the living room, and to Eric.

We were on the second bottle of wine before I realized that I was starting to feel the effects of the alcohol coursing through my veins. Obviously Eric was less than enthused by the fact his sister was marrying Horatio and was pregnant with his child. It was more to do with the impending notion of Horatio being left alone to cope with child and no mother. He was more worried about Horatio right now than anyone else; he'd also taken on full responsibility on becoming one of the most important roles of that child's life. I think somewhere distantly Eric was thinking about the kids of his own he'd be having one day. Yet I was aware of the fact he was still upset over the problems he'd had with Boa Vista as of late, his guilt was also still niggling from the problems he'd had with Wolfe and now the part he'd played in Wolfe's accident. I'd explained to him that it wasn't his fault he wasn't to know, yet I also knew he was still blaming himself on some level. Feeling groggy I found myself leaning on Eric's arm as he talked about his impending uncle hood. All of a sudden he was on his feet, I felt myself slide into the warm spot where he'd previously occupied on the couch. He grinned at me as he helped pull me up spluttering. I tilted my head questioningly.

"It's getting late and I'm promised Wolfe I'd check on him tomorrow." He explained as I nodded understanding. I wobbled for a second over the movement. Eric caught my arm in order to steady me, I found myself leaning in close to him, his breath on my face.

"Someone's clumsy all of a sudden." He commented searching my eyes hesitantly.

"I think I've had a little too much to drink." I confessed wearily. Eric nodded and pulled away from me and moving towards the front door. I followed him rubbing my eyes. As he opened the door I was hit by a sudden gush of air that cleared my head a little. The problem with alcohol was the fact it left me a little bit tired and dazed. I yawned leaning on the door as he pulled his coat on.

"I'll see you at work tomorrow Eva." I nodded, holding the door open as he slid between the gap I'd made. He glanced at me over his shoulder before starting down the path.

"Sweet dreams and thanks for everything." He murmured, lifting his hand to wave at me. I returned the gesture closing the door behind him. Leaning against it I giggled to myself. I hadn't drunk in a while, and my brain was beginning to acknowledge the effect. I moved to my bed room slowly, taking a c.d from the rack and slipping it into the c.d player in my room. Leaving it to automatically begin to play on a low volume I decided o go to the kitchen to get a glass of water in order to fend off some of the drunkenness inside me. Sipping it gingerly, I heard a knock at the front door, it was low and timid. Glancing at the time, I realized Eric was right it was late, and he'd probably forgotten something. I made the conscious decision to leave my gun in its holster in my bedroom; I knew I was being stupid, by even letting my brain make the consideration to take it with me to the front door. Besides alcohol and guns was a bad mix. Thoughtful I moved towards the door a little too quickly, yanking it open with a small smile and a cutting edge comment. I glanced up and found myself wrapped in surprise.

"Tim what are you doing here?" I asked him frowning, my half drunken mind barely able to comprehend his presence. I looked him over what I hoped was discreetly. His dark hair was tousled from the wind; it was one of those rare cold nights in Miami tonight. He was wearing a black wool coat that fell to the back of his knees. His black stripped button down shirt looked smart over his dark coloured jeans. I felt something stir within me. Confused I forced the feeling back.

"Have you been on a date?" I asked squinting at his attire. The problem when I consumed alcohol was that I blurted out whatever was in my head, and hey presto look what just came out of my mouth.

Tim glanced down at himself impatiently and then returned his gaze to me.

"I was meeting a few friends from out of town, Danny Messer invited me out to catch up over a beer or two." He told me tilting his head to the side. There was silence for a few seconds while I found myself staring into his warm chocolate eyes.

"Can I come in?" he asked me, with a look I couldn't interoperate.

"Yea sure." I found myself saying, and smacking myself at the same time for not even thinking of it. I held the door open as he stepped inside the house wiping his shoes ion the door mat. I moved though to the living room while he did so.

"So what are you doing here?" I asked him, moving to pick up my glass of water and sipping from it slowly. I turned to face him seeing his gaze flicker to the coffee table and the two wine glasses on it.

"You had company?" he asked a strange expression on his face as he stared at the glasses accusingly.

"Eric was here, he wanted to talk." I answered honestly. Tim nodded at my response assessing it, he already knew about the wedding plans; Horatio invited the whole team to the service. I didn't know whether Tim was going or not.

The music from my bedroom drifted in softly interrupting my thoughts. I moved towards it gesturing for Tim to follow so that Abbey wouldn't be disturbed, when Tim stepped in I closed the door behind him, twirling to glance at him, glass still in hand. I let myself move to sit on the bed kicking of my shoes as I did so.

"So why are you here Tim anyway?" I asked him curious. Speedle moved graciously around the comfy chair opposite the bed and dropped into it. I watched as he leant forward his elbows perched on his knees, his chin rested on the base he made with his crossed fingers. His raised his eyes to look at me, as they met he spoke. I raised my glass to take another sip of water.

"I can't stop thinking about you." His words caused me to choke on the fluid that was rolling down my throat. Pulling the glass away from my mouth I let out several shallow coughs, embarrassed. He stood up moving towards me concerned. I raised my hand, signalling I was alright. After a few minutes I stopped coughing.

"Sorry, it went down the wrong way." I told him. I set the glass down next to me, his words echoing in my head. He was leaning on his hands again his eyes fixated on me.

"Do you care to elaborate a little more?" I asked him rather calmly. I had no idea what was going on, but I had the distinct feeling I was dreaming. I really hoped I wasn't just dreaming. I'd been waiting for this to happen for a while now, I'd even day dreamed about actually talking to him. Tim was on his feet now, running a hand through his thick hair. I stayed here I was my head raised in his direction. He was making my head swim a little bit with his pacing.

"The last two weeks, Eva, have been hell for me. I mean seriously, I know what I did was wrong, I did it all to protect you, but I know I ended up harming you." He glanced in my direction; I merely looked at him unsure what to say. Tim took this as a symbol to continue.

"I was taking with Danny today, and he asked about you, I ended up telling him everything. He made me realize that I don't want to lose someone who meant the world to me." I felt myself blink as he said it. My mind oddly blank. I stood up frowning not understanding what he was saying. He stopped pacing in front of me; I searched his face searching for lies as he leant his forehead on mine.

"Eva please forgive me." He whispered. His hands held mine gently. I was lost in this moment. I felt myself propelled forward my lips brushing his.

_When the moonlight crawl along the streets,_

_Chasing away the summer heat._

_Footsteps outside somewhere and below._

_The world revolves,_

_I've let it go._

I felt passion rage up within me as his hands strayed from my own, and on to the small amount of skin that had been showing between my jeans and blouse. His fingertips caressed it softly sending shivers up me as his lips responded to my. Need ran through me as I let my hands run up his chest, feeling the muscle underneath the confines of his shirt. I moved my hands up to his arms, feeling the soft brush of his coat. I moved my hands underneath the collar and back down to his chest, forcing the coat off his shoulders, and off of him. His hands were in my hair as his mouth broke away from my lips and began a slow descent onto the delicate skin of my throat. All the while the music playing in the background flooded my ears as I found myself on the bed amongst the soft white linen sheets.

_We built our church above the street_

_We practice love between these sheets,_

_The candy sweetness scent of you,_

_It makes my skin abstained in you._

Tim's lip's met mine again as he moved against me forcing me to gasp. A tingle of pleasure tickled my spine as I clutched the front of his shirt tightly as I felt his erection brush me. I let out a moan, begging him for more as his teeth lightly grazed my neck.

My fingers worked quickly on the buttons of his shirt until it hung open revealing a wide expanse of his chest. I ran my hands over him gently, letting my fingers play over each muscle and scar.

_Turn the lights down low_

_Take it off and show,_

_My love for you insatiable._

_Turn me on never stop_

_Wanna taste every drop my love for you insatiable._

Tim pulled away slightly, his eyes remained on mine, as he watched me, analysing my movements. He took them in with anticipation as I let his lips tease me with his unspoken promises. My hands moved to the smooth skin of his shoulders, tugging the shirt off, I reached up letting my tongue trace the line of his collarbone. His head tilted back letting out his own sounds of pleasure as I wriggled against him, my hands straying along his back, softly caressing the curve of it. He shivered above me as I let my fingers slide beneath the waist band of his pants and then back up again.

_The moonlight plays along your skin_

_A kiss that lingers takes me in. _

_There are no words there's only you._

His lips were back on mine, this time more urgent. I could feel his desperation as he undid my blouse with quick fingers. My head tipped back as his mouth brushed the soft skin of my breasts, his lips caressing my nipple causing me cry out in pleasure. Slowly he slid my blouse and bra off my arms and onto the carpet. His lips were on mine again, I could feel the intense need burning within him as he undid the button on my jeans and yanked them off, leaving me solely in my underwear. I didn't hesitate. I wanted him, needed him now. I stripped him of his pants and boxers quickly. He brushed against me teasing. I felt a moan escape my own throat as he pushed himself against me. I felt him smile as he kissed the side of my mouth as I begged him to go further.

_Breath in breath out _

_There is no sound we move together up and down_

_We levitate, our body soar our feet don't even touch the floor._

I called his name as he slid inside me. I clutched him tightly to me as his mouth gently brushed mine. His arms wrapped around me as he began to move slowly inside me. The waves of pleasure began to build as his pace quickened. Lost in him and the feelings that intoxicated me I heard myself calling his name out loud. His hold on my tightened as I felt his breath quicken with my own. I couldn't escape his eyes, they held me fast, bidding me to not to turn away from him. I couldn't even if I wanted to. I felt my own organism approaching quickly. My body tightened around him as I felt his stiffen at the same time. I heard his words in my ear, as I drowned in that moment of ecstasy, my own arms holding him to me like he was my last hope.

"I love you."

_Nobody knows you like I do,_

_The world they don't understand,_

_And I grow stronger in your hands._

_Turn the lights down low,_

_Take it off and show,_

_My love for you insatiable_

_Turn me on never stop_

_Wanna taste every drop_

_My love for you insatiabl_e.

Darren Hayes - Insatiable


	6. Chapter 6: Not Breathing

Chapter Six

_Wake up it's a beautiful morning,_

_The sun shining for your eyes_

_Wake up it's so beautiful_

_For what could be the very last time._

The Boo Radleys – Wake Up Boo

I stirred slightly in the still warm bed groaning as I did so. My head was swimming from the alcohol I had been drinking last night. What had I been thinking? Wine always did this to me. I tried to lift m head from the pillow without it having an adverse effect on body, it failed miserably. I let out a deep sigh clenching my eyes shut to block out the sunlight that was streaming through the open window, that I was suddenly aware I hadn't opened. Feeling immensely groggy I pulled the quilt over my head to block out the light. The warmth of the quilt against my skin reminded me that I was in fact naked. I never slept naked unless…Tim was here, or at least he had been. Immediately I felt bitter and used, images of him redressing and leaving in the night filled my mind. I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath I didn't know I'd been holding, feeling defeated. I pulled back the quilt, and stuck my head out letting my gaze take in the clothes that were surrounding the bed. All of them were mine, at least I knew last night hadn't been a dream, he'd still been here when I'd had that nightmare. Bringing myself to sit up, I touched my forehead in attempt to shake off the cotton wool feeling in it. I was unsuccessful. Feeling depressed I turned to look at the clock surveying how much time I had until the alarm went off.

"Shit." I jumped up out of the bed grabbing the kimono I hung on the back of the door, the time burning in my brain. 12:39pm, I was supposed to be in work over three hours ago. I searching haphazardly for my cell, gun and badge, locating my gun and badge, I seemed to vaguely remember leaving my cell on the kitchen table before getting the wine for me and Delko. I heard small footsteps running towards the bedroom door. Tightening my kimono I opened the door to be greeted by Abbey, who was supposed to be in day-care over four hours ago. How the hell did I forget to set the alarm? Doubts were floating through my head over my inability as a parent.

"Good morning." Abbey said wrapping her tiny arms around my waist. Somehow she always put a smile to my face. Abbey detached herself just as I saw a shadow moving down the hallway towards us. For a second my heart stopped. Was my nightmare coming true? Forcing myself to move I jerked my head to meet the gaze of the intruder.

"Hey." Tim's husky rich voice spoke in several different levels to me, making a course of emotions run through me. His dark eyes were on my face, a wide grin spread across his. In his hand he held a mug; he pushed it out towards me.

"Tea." He murmured, I took it from him gladly with a small smile. I was happy he'd chosen to stick around it meant a lot to me. Memories of last night flooded my brain, almost causing me to shiver with delight. Tim gave me a knowing smile. Flushed with embarrassment I turned on Tim, giving him a glare.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I asked. "I was supposed to be in work over three hours ago."

Tim's smile faltered a little as his face knotted into a frown.

"It's your day off remember? Horatio gave you an extra day off so you can spend time with Abbey." Tim spoke. As his words penetrated my skull, I began to vaguely remember what he was talking about. I was glad he's forgotten to mention that fact it was also on my shrink's recommendation that I take a little more time off to recuperate after the ordeal. I took a sip on my tea, eyes still intent on Speedle, who was returning the gaze full force. Man this was awkward. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be saying right now. Fortunately Abbey began to fill up the silence by telling me about our plans for the day. Yes that's right OUR plans.

"And mommy Speed cooked breakfast and then he's gonna take us the beach so me and him can build sand castles, and I want to play in the sea." Abbey took my hand gently leading me past Tim and into the kitchen.

"You really didn't have to…" I stopped breathless as my eyes fell on the spread in front of me. Speedle had been busy; upon the table were three plates, upon each of them several pancakes. In the centre of the table was a small vase filled with fresh looking lilies, my favourite. On several other plates that were scattered around the table there was a mixture of toast, bacon and a bowl of scrabbled eggs. I found myself turning to face Speedle in shock, unable to speak; I'd never seen anything like this in reality. Tim's smile was warm.

I glanced over my shoulder at Abbey who was climbing into one of the chairs at the kitchen table.

"Abbey do you want to make a start on the pancake, we'll both be back in a minute, I want to talk to Speed for a minute." She nodded already occupied on putting the syrup on the pan cakes. I pursed my lips inwardly before beginning to speak; I wasn't sure what I was supposed to be saying here. I crossed my arms over my chest while Tim watched me mimicking my action.

"Why…why are you doing this?" I asked him, glancing at the floor. There was something that I needed him to say otherwise things between us would never be alright, and last night would be deemed as a one of mistake. Tim's eyes were on my face intently as he sucked in a breath.

"I know what I did was wrong, I seriously did do it for the right reasons though. If there had been any sign that Marriott was going to come after you that quickly I would of told you everything in a heartbeat. I just didn't want him destroying the life you created here. I didn't want him hurting us." Tim leaned forward putting his forehead against mine, his hands caressing my face gently. I shivered under his touch. I wanted this so badly, the last two weeks had been hell on me too. Having to see him in the lab, trade snide remarks with him, we'd been playing games with each other the last two weeks and now it had to stop.

"I really want to make it up to you the best I can because the last two weeks have been hell for us both, I can't forget about you. Even if it means I have to make breakfast every morning for the rest of my life, I willingly do it if it means I get to stay here with you." I felt my face break into a smile. Even though Tim hardly ever spoke his emotions, when he did…they blew me away. With a small smile I lent forward and kissed him on he lips lightly.

"We'll see how today goes." I told him. "Take it day by day."

Tim nodded in response, a look of warmth filling his face. The bruise on the side of it was fading now, it just reminded me of another thing I was going to try and help him deal with.

"What are we going to do about…" I gestured up to the bruise on his face. Tim looked away from me and into the kitchen his dark eyes fixated on Abbey.

"It's embarrassing you know…it's like when I see wife's or girls who are being beat on by anyone, I just… it makes me so angry I don't understand why they don't say something against them. But now it's me. Now I understand. It's stupid." He said shaking his head; my eyes were on him and his on the floor. I didn't say anything I just wanted him to continue.

"I know people are gonna look down on me about it, I mean she's 5'2 but when she lashes out I freeze completely, it's like I'm back when Sean died again and I can't stop it." I was kind of clicking in my head now, how Tim had gotten into this situation he'd told me a little bit about the Megan Donners situation a few months ago. Yet I didn't say I understood it entirely. I crossed my arms over my chest choosing my next words very carefully.

"I think it's time to let it go…" I spoke quietly. "I mean to let Horatio know about it Tim, you shouldn't suffer in silence. Seriously I can't watch you get hurt knowing that it's happening, there are only so many excuses you can make." I uncrossed my arms and moved towards him, wrapping them around his waist. He buried his face in my hair as he held me.

"No body will think any less of you. Even Ryan was worried about you, and he hasn't even known you that long. I seriously think you need to report this to Horatio, it's getting out of hand." I felt Tim seize up in my arms. The thought of telling people about this… It must be hard. I didn't want to push him too much.

"I think…I want to leave it for now." He said I felt a wave of disappointment run through me, I thought he knew that he had to do something about it.

"But if it happens again I'll go to Horatio, I promise you." He said kissing the top of my head. I felt myself tense. How many people said that in the same situation? I stifled a sigh and snuggled more into his chest.

"If you don't I will. Otherwise I will do something about it Tim." Even if it meant putting Lara in the ground. The words were left unspoken between us.

"I know." Tugging his hand I led him to the breakfast table where we both didn't have to think about anything but today.

"Hey, you don't usually have this day off today." I said to Speedle frowning, as I shook some of the sand of my book and onto his black jeans. Black jeans in the Miami sun, bad move, yet he had no clothes a mine anymore, so he was still wearing the clothes from last night. They weren't exactly appropriate for a beach but they did make him stand out. Already I'd seen a few girls walking past eyeing him up. I stifled the pang of jealousy with the knowledge that they didn't know Tim the way I did. It worked mostly. When I looked at their flawless skin it made me feel a little down over the fact I had a multitude of scars in different places. I'd never wear a bikini, but the fact I was wearing shorts that stopped above the knee and a light green strap top showed me that I was recuperating from the attack quite well. Before hand I never went out in anything that wasn't trousers and showed more skin than a tee shirt. But hey, having Tim back in my life was unleashing a more confident side of me than I'd seen in while.

"I phoned Horatio this morning and asked if I could swap shifts for the day. The caseloads a little slow, even with Wolfe down. He agreed I'd take over Wolfe's shift later on today." He told me, resting his arm peacefully on his knees. He had his long sleeved shirt sleeves rolled up and he'd pulled his pants legs up to the knees. His shoes lay scattered over by my sandals. I couldn't see his eyes behind his sun glasses but I knew his gaze was on Abbey the whole time, watching over as she paddled in the warm emerald sea.

"I think he was glad to give it to me, I've kind of over worked a lot lately since…the incident with Blake." He admitted his eyes still on Abbey as she tried unsuccessfully to scoop up some fish in the small net she had in her hand. I didn't have the heart to tell her, the fish don't usually come this close to the shore. My eyes were on his face memorising every inch of it. He spoke before I could reply.

"I think he's glad we've made peace with each other." He said glancing at me.

"I am too, the Trace lab was a minefield for a bit of a while." I said thoughtfully remembering Alexx's words. I also suddenly remembered what I was also supposed to be telling Speed.

"Tim…I have something to tell you…" I began, thinking of poor Mr Meadows alone in the morgue.

"If it's about the murder at the theatre you don't have to tell me. Alexx filled me in." I cringed, my thoughts on being a coward returned. I moved my hand to squeeze his arm.

"I really am sorry; I was going to tell you." I said softly. Tim's eyes remained fixed on Abbey.

"I know things were a little bit hectic." He said, understanding in his voice.

"I have to for the appraisal of his will next week." He confided. I stared at him.

"Wow, that's…" I couldn't find the right words that didn't sound insulting.

"Weird?" he laughed.

"Yea." I replied with a grin. Tim smiled for a second before adding.

"He was a really great guy, we used to talk a lot about the shows and stuff, he always took an interest in the things I was doing. It seems strange that's he's gone now." Tim's eyes were on the red and white blanket we were sitting on. I pursed my lips unsure what to say. I saw Tim's head jerk up suddenly.

"She's not supposed to be that deep in the water." I followed his gaze, trailing ti to Abbey who was now up to her shoulders in the water, flailing her net around in an attempt to capture some fish.

"Shit." Speed was on his feet now and rushing forward across the sand towards the water's edge. It took me a few seconds to realize what had put him in such a panic. A high wave was approaching quickly, there wasn't enough time for Abbey to get out of the sea.

"Abbey!" I heard myself screaming across the sand, dropping my book to the sand I followed Speed's path. I watched as she turned towards me grinning and waving.

"Abbey, come back." I yelled again. Speedle hit the water as the wave crashed over head. She was there one minute and gone the next. My heart was pounding in my throat, as the overwhelming panic took over me. I couldn't see, her damn it, I couldn't see either of them. The foam was shielding me from being able to see into the usually clear water. Oh my God what had I done? I should have been watching her more closely. Tears were running down my face now. Horrific sobs over taking me, to the extent where I couldn't breath. I stood paralysed unable to do anything. A sudden eruption from the water broke the spell on me. Tim was rushing towards me Abbey cradled in his arms unconscious. I watched hand over my mouth as he climbed onto the beach laying her on the sand. I moved towards them quickly anxious to get towards my child. Kneeling in the sand across from Tim I realized things were a lot worse than they had originally seemed. Abbey wasn't breathing. The next few minutes were the longest in my life as I watched as Tim tried to pump air into Abbey's lungs. I watched as each try failed. The hope inside me dying just a little more with each failure, until Tim pulled away his eyes, his face etched with the grief I new I was feeling right then. My whole body was trembling as he spoke those words.

"I'm sorry Eva, she's gone."


	7. Chapter 7: Relief

Chapter Seven

_Goodnight, sleep tight,_

_No more tears,_

_In the morning,_

_I'll be here,_

_And when we said goodnight_

_Dry your eyes,_

_Because we said goodnight,_

_And not goodbye._

Goodnight – Evanescence

POV: Speedle

"Speed how is she?" Horatio's voice penetrated through the roaring in my ears, but just barely. I was standing with my arms crossed in front of a massive window, my eyes solely on Eva.

"She hasn't moved from that spot for the last hour." I told him, my fingernails digging into my arms. I was desperately willing myself to feel something besides the guilt that was coursing through my veins. Out the corner of my eye I saw H nod, his eyes still on Eva, who fingers were laced together, her forehead resting on them. It looked like she was praying.

"How are you holding up?" he asked me, I knew his eyes were on me even though I wasn't looking at him. I closed my eyes for a second, in that time I saw Abbey lying still on the beach unmoving. I opened my eyes again, shaking my head.

"Not good. I should have kept a closer eye on her. I literally turned my head for two seconds to say something to Eva and that was it..."

"What exactly happened Speed I'm a little fuzzy on the details." Horatio probed. I bit back a sarcastic remark and opened my mouth in attempt to explain it to him.

"We were at the beach; Abbey was playing in the water, trying to catch fish. Eva didn't have the heart to tell her that you couldn't catch them that close to the shore. I turned to say something to Eva, maybe even to just look at her." I ran a hand through my hair shaking.

"And that's when I saw it. Abbey had gone a little deeper than she was supposed to. She couldn't see the high wave rising behind her. The minute I saw it I was on my feet running towards the water, Eva was screaming at Abbey to come back to the shore. I don't think Abbey even saw the wave. By the time it hit her I was in the water. I was looking for her and I couldn't see her." Tears were pinpricking my eyes now.

"I just couldn't find her. Then something brushed past me, and I realized it was her arm. I grabbed her and lifted her out of the water, and ran onto the beach to try and clear her air ways." I clenched my jaw stifling the noise I knew was trying to come out. I turned my eyes towards him trying to make him understand.

"I was trying H, I was really trying to resuscitate her, but she wasn't responding to it. I was really trying but nothing. I turned to Eva and told her that she was gone, that her daughter was dead. But she wouldn't believe me; she pushed me out of the way, and started CPR herself. I couldn't stop her; I was frozen in shock at the sight of this child in front of me dead. She wouldn't stop; she just kept going and going. Then on the fifth try Abbey coughed, she coughed up the water and it dribbled from her mouth. God I have never been so happy to see something in my whole entire life." I admitted, my head turning back to Eva who was now watching Abbey's sleeping form.

"Someone had called an ambulance when they saw me pull her out the water; they brought her here, checking her over and such." I told him. The guilt was still there niggling at me. I'd been ready to give up on her, saying she was dead, when across from there she was alive connected to some tubes and machines that monitored her life stats.

"How is she doing?" Horatio asked me, his eyes now turning to Abbey.

"Surprisingly well, their treating her for mild hypothermia, and making sure her brain functions are normal due to the lack of oxygen she was getting at the time. She's sleeping now; the whole thing was hard on her body, a shock to the system. Their keeping her in overnight for observation." I finished, there was silence between us both for a few seconds before Horatio began to talk.

"Your wondering why Eva managed to resuscitate her and you didn't, aren't you?" Horatio asked me. I turned to stare at him, as he asked the question that was revolving the most around my head.

"Speed, no one can really tell why stuff like this happens; I mean there are records of such things happening, nobody knows how or why. Someone once told me that a mother is God in a child's eyes. Maybe that's the reason but who are we to question it? The most important thing is that Abbey's alive and she's not severely harmed and you're to thank for that. If you hadn't gotten into the water that quickly, things could have been a lot worse." Horatio told me his hand patting my back.

"I don't want to go in there, in case she blames me for this, I mean everything was alright and then I let this happen, I don't want to see her hurt because of me again." I confessed my hands were in my pockets now, as I looked down at the floor. His sunglasses were in his hands, his eyes on my face.

"Speed, I don't think she's going to blame you. You saved her little girl, that's a lot more important than who's responsible." I nodded, my eyes fixed on Eva. I'd have to face her sometime. Something else clicked in my head. I turned to Horatio arms crossed my eyes meeting his.

"Aren't you supposed to be getting married around now?" I asked him gruffly, frowning at him.

"We decided to put it back a few days. Marisol really wanted Eva to be there, and we didn't think it was fair that Eva had to go through this while we were getting married." I nodded my agreement; the decision was thoughtful on both their parts.

"Eric's on his way over, he's just finished up Wolfe's case, we caught the person who used the nail gun on him." Horatio told me his eyes on Eva. I nodded glad that things were turning out alright in that department.

"Ryan and Calleigh will be around a bit later on, Ryan's at the doctor's for a check up on his eye, and Calleigh's taken over the paper work that Delko was supposed to be doing." H told me, I went over his words trying to figure out who was missing.

"What about Alexx?" I asked my head turning in his general direction. I saw Horatio smile a little in thought.

"She's pacing the waiting room as we speak. She wanted to give you both some space." I smiled at the same time, imagining Alexx wearing a hole in the floor.

"How about you go get her and get Eva some tea? She hasn't eaten or drank anything since this morning. I'm going to go ahead in and see how she's holding up." I decided wearily. Horatio nodded his hands still on his sun glasses.

"I'm proud of you Speed." He said softly. I gave him a grim smile.

"Thank you." I murmured watching him walk down the hall. I put my hand on the door handle and went through.

The room itself was silent. Next to Abbey's bed was a variation of machines checking different signs of life from her. As I stepped forward into the room Eva's head snapped up looking at me.

"Hey." I said meekly closing the door quietly behind me. She gave a tired smile.

"Hey." She replied patting the chair next to her with her free hand, her other hand was clutching Abbey's tiny one. I felt myself drawn to the chair, and found myself sitting in it even though I didn't remember doing so.

"How's she doing?" I asked Eva uneasily, waiting for her to jump up and explode at me for telling her that her daughter was dead. In all fairness I deserved it.

"She was asking for you before. I think she remembers you carrying her." I was taken back by this.

"Whoa that's…" I trailed off vacantly, trying in vain to find the word.

"Weird?" she laughed. I joined in with her laughter too. I found myself reaching out and taking her hand. My thumb moved over her knuckles lightly caressing them, I felt tears pinpricking my eyes again as I remembered the grief I saw marring her face when I said those words.

"Eva, I'm sorry about what happened and what I said. If I had any idea of what was going to happen I would never would of…" I began to tell her.

"Tim… I don't care." Her interruption shocked me; I stared at her hurt and aghast. She let go of Abbey's hand and grabbed both of mine.

"I don't care about what happened, I'm just glad that your both safe. You got Abbey out of the water and that's all that matters to me." She said softly. Her arms were around my neck now. I pulled her close to me, feeling her warmth against me.

"Alexx and Horatio are here now, Eric's on his way, and Ryan and Calleigh will be about later." She nodded into my chest.

"Unfortunately I'm on call tonight, but you won't be on your own." I told her, holding her face in my hands caressing the smooth skin on her cheeks.

"I understand don't worry." She said softly with a small smile. I kissed her forehead lightly. I loved the fact she knew why I had to leave, my other girlfriends… well they didn't get it. It also struck me that Eva had been a single mother so long she was used to being on her own in situations like this, to be honest I didn't think that was really fair.

"I'll be back after my shift ends. It's only a short one." I murmured into her hair, inhaling the jasmine scent of it. She buried her face in my chest a little more and held on to me tightly for a few seconds before letting me go.

"If there are any changes, if anything happens call me ok?" I picked up my cell from my belt and waved in her direction.

"I'll have it on me at all times." I told her. Eva nodded rising to her feet as I did. I reached out and hugged Eva again, this time our lips met as she kissed me gently.

"I'll see you later." She murmured pulling away from me looking slightly flushed. I gave her a small smile.

"Catch you later" opening the door I gave her a final wave before slipping out of it.


	8. Chapter 8: Motive

Chapter Eight

_You push and pull me  
and I'm about to loose my mind  
Is this just a waste of time   
keep acting like you own me  
I keep running, watch me walking out that door  
I hear you behind me_

Strange Relationship – Darren Hayes

Speed POV

My service pistol was in my hand, the holster wrapped around it. My gaze was fixed on the gun as I put it on the top shelf of my locker. Sighing I ran a hand through my hair. What a day. I found myself rubbing my eyes. Horatio had given me a lift over here, he had some paper work he needed to finish before he went back to the hospital. Under the circumstances Eva had decided to cancel Abbey's birthday party, Alexx was ringing the other parents now to tell them. I rubbed my eyes again. They were gritty from the over tiredness. Closing my locker door I slumped against it for a second, ignoring the sound of heels approaching me. Today had been rough on both of us, but there were a few things that the events had set in motion for me. I'm not sure how it happened but I've started to get the notion of being Abbey's parent. I feel like she's my own daughter. When I saw that wave going over her head I didn't even think, I was in the water before I had a chance to think. I felt my heart break when I thought she was dead, I couldn't believe the immense pain that rushed through me as I stared at her motionless body. I wanted to protect her from things; I wanted to teach her things that I'd want my kids to know someday. The few weeks where me and Eva were apart, I'd bitterly missed seeing Abbey, I hadn't been able to see her as often as I wanted to. Opening my eyes I sighed turning my body in the direction of the doorway. A red head demon stood in my way, in other words Lara. I moved trying to push past her, she stood her ground. Making a point of folding my arms over my chest I stared at her defiant. Eva was right this couldn't g on anymore not when I had a family to think of. I eyed Lara's balled fists and felt a twinge of fear run through me. Feeling myself almost growl I pushed it away, blocking it off my radar. Whatever was up with her she was seething.

"Is it true?" she said through grinded teeth. I frowned at her. Her eyes were lit with fury. I didn't back down. She took another step towards me.

"Is it Tim?" I felt my eyes narrow as she said my name. I could feel the rage and humiliation of the last weeks build inside me from the place it had once been repressed.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I told her. At least I was being honest about that. I had no idea what the hell was going on with her. Ever since I could remember meeting Lara she'd been unpredictable. At first that had been my attraction to her. I was sick of the predictability of the previous people I had dated, she was like a breath of fresh air to me and then…well… I knew where that led and where it wasn't going to lead ever again.

"It's all around the lab. Rumours how you saved her kid. What were you doing with her Tim? Is she the reason that you don't want to be with me anymore?"

I found myself staring at her in disbelief.

"Well is it Tim?" he tapped her foot impatiently. I felt my jaw clench. I refused to make excuses for my self.

"That's none of your business Lara." I reminded her. I saw her face gape in surprise and then watched it contort into an ugly mask of rage. I stifled a flinch as she took another step forward.

"Your fucking her, aren't you?" My eyes met Lara's again. When I didn't answer I saw her temper mount.

"I heard rumours about her." She said circling me. I felt my own temper raise now.

"Did you know she was "damaged goods"?" she asked me she was now in front of me her eyes on my face. She was inches away from me now, her own arms folded. She tipped her head forward before glancing up at me, her mouth set in a firm line.

"That's it isn't it? You like shagging someone who's more fucked up than you are don't you? You like being the first guy since and I bet that kid makes you feel so much like a Daddy doesn't it Tim?" she was shouting now, her voice running pure through the silence of the locker room. Red hot fury rocked me. Before I realised what I was doing my own arm lashed out, blocking hers that had been oncoming towards my face. I didn't even look at it. I felt the shock reverberate through my arm. The look of surprise on her face was genuine. Especially when I grabbed her wrist, my grip tightening on it so she couldn't swing her fist back again.

"It's nothing like that Lara." I hissed at her. "I'm in love with her."

Lara's face clenched in what I could only conceive to be horror, before it began to crumble. I let go of her wrist, as she drew her hands to her face, a loud sob erupted from her. I bit the inside of my mouth stifling the urge to tell her to kill the theatrics. I made the decision to walk past her as she flung herself at me, sobbing into my chest, and her arms wrapped around my waist.

"But Tim I love you, she can't love you the way I do Tim, I've loved you for so long."

Startled at her actions I grabbed her arms pushing her away from me.

"No Lara…You're a spoilt little child who wants her own way, well this time I'm not giving you what you want. Eva loves me for who I am, and she would never ever hurt me." I moved around her showing her my back as I stepped towards the doorway of the locker room.

"I swear to you Tim Speedle this isn't over, you won't get away with this. I promise you!" I continued on my way out the room ignoring her shout.

"Goodbye Lara." I didn't even glance back at her. I simply shut the door, having some deep dark hope that it permanently jammed shut. Taking a few steps down the corridor I met came face to face with Calleigh.

"Tim, how are you doing?" Calleigh said with a small smile. I ran my hand through my hair almost shaking from the joy I was feeling over finally standing up to Lara.

"I'm doing fine now." I confessed returning her smile.

"Are you off to the hospital?" I asked her, putting my hands on my arms. She nodded with a wide grin.

"Yea, I'm picking up some stuff I left in my locker to give to Eva. I heard she hasn't eaten anything yet, so I'm taking down a few snacks I have left in there for her, as well as Abbey's birthday present."

"You do know she's cancelled the party right?" I asked her tilting my head down towards her. Calleigh nodded with grim smile.

"I think she's doing the right thing. I think a party would be a bit too much for the both of them right now. Do you know if Horatio is about I'd like to talk to him before I go pick up Ryan."

"I think he's in his office, catching up on a few things." I told her. Everything seemed to be making a turn for the best right now. Calleigh crossed her arms over her chest her face a little more serious now.

"Tim I'm really happy for you." She said softly, her face breaking out in an honest smile. She must have caught my look of confusion because she continued.

"I'm glad that you've found someone who genuinely cares about you. I know that you'll treat Eva well. I'm really happy you found each other. What you did today was heroic and I sincerely wish you guys all the best." I stared at Calleigh speechless. Her grin was wide and brimming with warmth.

"I guess I'm the first person to say that huh." She said gazing at the floor for a second. I knew my mouth was hanging open.

"Does everybody know?" I asked her glancing down at the floor. Calleigh looked at me rolling her eyes.

"Did you expect with the scrutiny we're under that this wasn't to get out, people are jumping to their own conclusions, but I know that the general feeling is that you and Eva are an item." She warned me. I was starring at her now. I hated the thought of my private life being public, I knew she was right. What did I expect? I wouldn't take back my actions though not even for a second. After exchanging a few more words with Calleigh I thanked her for deciding to stay the night at the hospital with Eva until I got there. Calleigh grinned telling me what we were all family before announcing that she was going to have to leave soon as she gad to go pick up Wolfe. He was still unable to drive due to the eye patch remaining on his eye. Saying goodbye and telling her to give Ryan my thanks also I continued on my way to the Trace Lab.

I stared at the open text books in front of me; my eyes flickered over the text, before returning to the microscope. The yellow blob underneath it gave up nothing. I jumped up off my stool frustrated, both hands going through my hair.

"Damn it." I burst out, kicking the stool in the process. I'd seen this before, but where? My hand was on my chin, tapping my jaw line with my finger. I began to pace the Trace Lab. My eyes rested on something on Eva's desk. I moved over curious, part of me searching for a distraction. I moved over to the desk picking up the necklace I'd given her for her birthday. I revelled in the brief memory of her smile as she opened the box. The silver chain was twisted in a Celtic knot pattern; set in the centre was a gem, amber. I felt something itch at my brain. A memory.

"_It's nice to meet you." The guy's hand stretched out to reach mine. His hand clasped me, causing something to dig into my fingers as he squeezed it. I narrowed my eyes, letting them rest on Gareth Derbshore's hand. A lion's head, its mouth open, amber stone encased in it._

"_Hey you should be paying me extra for meeting members of the audience old man." Gareth said shaking my hand, his eyes were on Mr Meadows who stood a few feet behind me. I glanced over my shoulder, seeing Meadow's face darken at Gareth's words._

"_The moment you start pulling your weight I'll give you a little extra." Meadows retorted. Frowning I moved away from Gareth, letting my eyes fall on the indent on my hand. My eyes strayed to the lion head ring on Gareth's finger before turning bck to Meadows._

Gareth Derbshore was the lead actor on stage in the productions. According to Meadows, he's been drinking a lot and had cocked up a few times on stage due to it. Would he seriously kill Robert Meadows over a pay raise. The guy deserved to be fired for God's sake. I sat thoughtfully going over Eva and Ryan's case in my head. As sudden noise snapped me out of my thoughts as I leant back on the stool. I looked up, my eyes going towards the source. I was at the door, and in the corridor watching Calleigh lead Lara down the corridor, two patrol cops behind her Horatio walking behind. I frowned taking a step forward towards Calleigh.

"Cal?" I asked my eyes on her.

"Speed? I think it would be best if you returned to he Trace Lab." Horatio spoke quietly. His eyes averted in the other direction.

"H? Is that my…" I trailed off recognizing the holster in his hand, gob smacked. I couldn't speak, I could barely breath all I could see was my holster in his hands, and I couldn't understand why. I'd cleaned that gun religiously since I'd been show the second time. All of a sudden I was on the floor, the right side of my face stinging worse than it had before. Noise invaded my ears as I felt hands around my neck choking me.

"It's your entire fault Tim; you can't do this to me. You can't fuck someone else and get away with it Tim."

The patrol cops were dragging Lara off me by either arm. Her face was scrunched up like a rabid dog in rage. I was still seeing stars from hitting the floor that hard.

"Book her." Horatio's soft voice penetrated the chaos. Calleigh was in my vision, her hand extended.

"Tim. I'm so sorry; I didn't even think she would do that." Calleigh said as I took hold of her hand and pulled myself up. Rubbing the back of my head I stared down the corridor after Lara who was fighting bitterly against the patrol cops.

"Don't worry Cal, I'm used to it. " I muttered, touching the cheek where she'd first hit me, gently. Calleigh's eyes were on me analytically.

"It's not the first time is it?" she asked. I shook my head miserably, not answering her I turned back to Horatio in time to see his lips move.

"What did you do to Miss Perry to make her want you dead Speed?"

"What?" I crossed my arms over my chest, as Calleigh moved to the right of me.

"I caught Lara tampering with your gun in the locker room. She was taking the bullets your of your clip." Calleigh's head was bowed. My jaw dropped, and my face clenched. Inevitably one day she would of killed me. I cleaned the gun, but never checked the clip I never saw the need to.

"Speed?" Horatio's eyes were on me.

"I have to take your firearm for processing." I nodded in response, wrapping my arms around myself. She tried to kill me. The words ran around my head not making a connection. I couldn't believe that she would do that. A cold shiver ran through me. That meant that at some point there was a possibility that she could of killed me. The thought of that…it chilled me. Calleigh's eyes were on Horatio, I tapped my fingers nervously against my arm, unsure on what to feel, what to think. All the while the only thing rushing through my mind was "she tried to kill me." All because she was mad at me. All due to the fact I wouldn't sleep with her. I leaned back against the wall, bending over to take a deep breath, my hands running through my hair, so hard I felt myself almost tear out the roots. Calleigh was in front of me now; I heard Horatio's footsteps close behind.

"I wouldn't sleep with her; she wanted me dead because I wouldn't sleep with her." I muttered. I couldn't believe it. I just refused to believe that that was enough reason to kill some one. I shook my head. Why was that so impossible to believe? I dealt with cases like that for the last ten years. Why was it so hard? I already knew the answer. It was because it was happening to me.

Calleigh's face was close o mine now, I gazed up into her eyes.

"I really think you should go the hospital, be with Eva and Abbey." She said putting my arm. I nodded without speaking and followed her suggestion.


	9. Chapter 9: Facing The Demon

Chapter Nine

_I can see inside you the sickness is raising_

_Don't try to deny what you feel,_

_It seems that all that was good inside has died and decayed._

Down With the Sickness – Disturbed

She paced along the length of her cell impatient. A princess in an orange jumpsuit, primed and proper her blazing red hair fell past her shoulders as; she turned quickly and began to march in the opposite direction. I'd been watching her for the past fifteen minutes unable to force myself to take the final steps forward to the cell. My arms crossed over my chest I let my eyes stay on her.

I knew she'd tried to kill him, I even knew why she'd done it. Taking a deep breath I composed myself. I didn't want to go in there raging. The minute I felt my temper raise I was going to walk away, as much as I wanted to hurt her for what she had done to Tim, I couldn't. But I had to see her; I had to get closure from her.

Taking a deep breath I took a step forward, and then another. The sound of my heels echoed down the corridor leading to her cell. Upon hearing my footsteps, Lara stopped pacing and lent forward on the bars and peering through them. Her eyes narrowed as she saw who was approaching her cell.

"Did he send you?" she asked gripping the bars and pulling back against then as if testing her strength.

I stopped in front of her meeting her gaze head on. I folded my arms over my chest with a small smile.

"I don't think Tim even knows I'm here." I replied honestly. Lara's eyebrows rose. She watched as I sat down on the bench across from her cell.

"Are you wondering why I did it? Or are you wondering how long we were carrying on behind your back?" Lara asked with a grin plastered on her pale face. I returned the expression.

"You haven't been in a relationship with him for three years Lara, I know that. As for why you did it…I already know that too." I put my hand in the pocket of my suit jacket and took out the bottle of tablets.

"I did some research on you Lara." Shaking the tablets in front of her face, I saw Lara's face drop.

"I even know that you haven't been taking these little things. There's a few too many in here for you to be using them." I said as a matter of fact. Lara snarled at me. I grinned at her.

"Why do you think he picked you?" Lara asked me as I stood putting the tablets back in my pocket. My eyes were on her, she knew she held my attention. She gave me a sly grin.

"You're more fucked up that he is, he likes the idea of being the first guy to touch you. He likes knowing that there's someone out there sicker than he is." I shook my head at her.

"Lara you got it all wrong." Our eyes met, hers were filled with hatred.

"We love each other, he proved that when he saved Abbey in the sea." I told her. I turned to walk away from her as she shouted down the corridor after me.

"You'll pay, both you and him will. When I get out your both going straight to hell." Lara screamed. I snapped, I actually physically felt something in me twang. I turned my hair whipping as I turned to face her.

"I swear to God if you go anywhere near him or me, I will hunt you down and I will end you." I told her turning on my heel and storming down the corridor. I paused as I reached the exit, glancing at her over my shoulder.

"And Lara…I know how to hide the bodies." I warned before marching outside.

I propped the sunglasses onto my face, as the beaming sunlight lit up the world around me. Man I was feeling good now.

"Visiting someone Detective?" My head rose spotting a dark haired, handsome stranger leaning against a yellow motorcycle, clad in a dark suit. His sunglasses shielded his eyes from my gaze; his arms were folded over his chest. I felt my body clench. Uh Oh! I was busted. I stopped and copied his stance.

"How'd you know I was here?" I asked. Tim turned to me taking off his sunglasses. His chocolate brown eyes met mine with startling clarity.

"You've been itching to get at her since you found out she was hitting me." Tim told me with a small smile.

"So I'm not in trouble?" I asked tilting my head down. Tim took two steps toward me and out his hands on my arms.

"No you're not in trouble." He said rubbing his cheek along my face affectionately. He pulled back and returned to his bike, handing me the helmet, and checking his watch.

"We've got twenty minutes until we're due in court." He said, taking my cheeks in his hands and kissing my forehead. I smiled and set the helmet on my head. Tim tipped my head back gently and tightened the helmet.

"I am so glad I didn't wear a skirt today" I told him. Tim shot me a mischievous grin as he climbed onto the bike and set his sun glasses on his face.

"I can think of a few disadvantages for that," I felt my cheeks flush as I imagined the last few nights we'd spent together. I climbed on the motor cycle, clutching Tim close to me. He started the engine and tilted the throttle to full causing the engine to rev. As we sped down the road to the courthouse, I thanked God for these small moments; I thanked him for keeping Tim Speedle alive.


End file.
